Before Picture

I am Fat

My name is Steve and I am Addicted to food. I lie about my eating habits, I often hide food from my wife, family and friends and I prefer to eat in isolation. I am 41 years old and I have been overweight since I was a toddler. I can remember as a child seeing my dad sitting and watching TV and snacking in the evenings and seeing my brother sitting on the couch after school watching TV and eating Doritos, I can also remember thinking that I wanted to be able to do that and the older I got the more and more eating and watching TV was all I did. I eventually managed to blow up to about 360 lbs. between 2007 and 2012 I suffered 2 heart attacks.

I have tried made many attempts to lose weight.  From the age of 11 until I was 16 I spent my summers at Camp Colang, a sleep away camp for overweight kids and teens (fat camp. I have tried surgery to help me lose weight, but both of these ended with the same results. I lost weight and then gained it right back. I tried to join the army after high school thinking that the strict regiment and daily routine would help me lose weight, but guess what, I was too fat for any branch of the Military. I even remember my parents buying a ski lock that they would use to lock the refrigerator to keep me away from the food but it did not work. It did not take me long before I managed to get that stupid lock open.

I do not eat because I am hungry I eat because all I can think about is food. The only time I am not thinking about food is when I am active with my family or my friends. For those few hours I am like a free man, then eventually I come home and then I can hear that voice, that desire building in my to eat something, to drink something.

They say food addiction is much worse that drug addiction or other types of addiction because in recovery a drug addict can avoid any contact with drugs but a food addict must continue to eat.

I can’t even begin to list all of the negative consequences that have arisen in my life because of my obesity, but I can tell you the worst one is having the knowledge that I will probably die sooner than later and my beautiful 3 year old girl will grow up without her dad.

In an attempt to beat my addiction, lose weight and get healthy so ill get to spend as many years as I can with my wife and little girl I am going to be posting my Daily Food Journals, I’ll be posting about my and my general ramblings about urges to eat or any other thoughts that may come to my mind.

My goal for this site is to build a support network and hopefully I’ll be able to help myself and maybe others who are suffering with Obesity and addiction to food.

I Have the Munchies

Woke up this morning on time got my little princess up and ready for daycare and got myself ready for work at the same time because today is a crossfit day and I am motivated.

More Pain More Gain

Almost 3 weeks ago during a warm up run before my MMA class started I twisted my ankle badly and I was unable to return to training until last night. I was very nervous about working out while my ankle was still swollen, but there are plenty of exercises I could do that would not bother my ankle so I decided it was time to return to the Dojo.

Declaration of war on food addiction

Dear food addiction FUCK OFF I am tired of you telling me to eat. You have been trying to get me to slowly kill myself for the past 40 years. It is because of you I have been fat for as long as I can remember, it is because of you that I have had 2 heart attacks. I will not allow you to take me from my wife and baby girl.

Back to the Gym

I finally got the ok from my doctor to return to my MMA class. I’ve had three workouts and even put on the pads and did a little sparring. Walking back into the gym in my Gi felt really good, but then everyone stopped and I actually got applause. It felt really great to be back but it was a bit embarrassing.